Once more from the glorious realm of illegally downloadable books...
And this one, [F.R.E.E.\, has a google.com address, so obviously...
... no, I don't know what to think.
First off, the "reviews" are skinny. I don't know how else to put it. There are three write ups and they appear in very skinny columns. Using the drop-down to "View" does nothing to help that. In fact, it doesn't give you an easier to read review at all, just another way to download.
Review One:
"Reading is very important to get much knowledge."
Agreed. Continue, please.
"It makes the readers get much information that never they know before."
Absolutely... why does reprinting this suddenly make me feel racist? Not in a blatant "I hate people not like me" way, but in an "American tourist visiting a foreign country and complaining that no one speaks proper English" way?
I fight these feelings by suggesting to myself that these reviews were probably written in a different language and then Babel Fish did their best to make it work.
Such as when, for example, you type into Babel Fish: "Can you sell me an expensive shoe made by children?" It will come back to you as "You sell an expensive made by me children can?"
(And by the way, it took me a really long time to find something that would look like that. Props to Babel Fish for making some vast improvements in the last few years.)
I'll just skip ahead to some highlights...
"There are many attractive and amazing online books that can be easy to be found in many websites."
My book is also available on Tinder, if you didn't know.
"One of the great books is 1897: Aliens! Vampires! Zombies! by Sean Michael Welch can be found and get in our website. The content of this book is awesome."
You heard it here first. I give great content.
From Review Two:
"This 1897: Aliens! Vampires! Zombies! is suitable for teenager."
Yes, but which teenager? I need specifics. There are demographics that I don't fully understand involved.
"The content of this book is delivered in simple word. However, it still makes the readers get good education from this book."
Okay, okay, I'm just going to say that I kind of like the idea that in some parts of the world it is considered educational. It's both lovely and weird.
"This book has been read by many people."
That's not true in reality. But it is true in marketing. We can all learn a thing or two from L. Ron Hubbard even as batshit crazy as he was.
It's during Review Three that I start feeling as if I'm falling off the boat:
"The readers can improve their memories of the brain."
Can improve... what?
"Each plot in this online book helps the readers to stimulate their brain to remember any things in the content of this book."
...well... I mean, there's many characters to keep track of, so I suppose a case can be made that it does this, as perhaps reading anything does at some level...
"Reading this book also makes the readers can easy to stabilize their heart situation."
Aaaaaaand no. You've lost me. That's not a thing. Or if it is a thing, then no one's made it very well-known. And even if it was a thing, I doubt if anyone would be pointing at 1897 and saying "This book will save your life!" Unless...
Note to self: "Friend" Dr. Oz on Facebook and find out what his endorsement fees are.
If you want to read the whole thing, you can find it here.
In the meantime, here's Dr. Oz for 1897: ALIENS! VAMPIRES! ZOMBIES! which he never agreed to, but then I bought some Green Coffee Bean Extract during a week when I was feeling kind of self-conscious about my appearance, so I figure that makes us even.
Buy your copy of 1897 here because Dr. Oz said so.
And this one, [F.R.E.E.\, has a google.com address, so obviously...
... no, I don't know what to think.
First off, the "reviews" are skinny. I don't know how else to put it. There are three write ups and they appear in very skinny columns. Using the drop-down to "View" does nothing to help that. In fact, it doesn't give you an easier to read review at all, just another way to download.
Review One:
"Reading is very important to get much knowledge."
Agreed. Continue, please.
"It makes the readers get much information that never they know before."
Absolutely... why does reprinting this suddenly make me feel racist? Not in a blatant "I hate people not like me" way, but in an "American tourist visiting a foreign country and complaining that no one speaks proper English" way?
I fight these feelings by suggesting to myself that these reviews were probably written in a different language and then Babel Fish did their best to make it work.
Such as when, for example, you type into Babel Fish: "Can you sell me an expensive shoe made by children?" It will come back to you as "You sell an expensive made by me children can?"
(And by the way, it took me a really long time to find something that would look like that. Props to Babel Fish for making some vast improvements in the last few years.)
I'll just skip ahead to some highlights...
"There are many attractive and amazing online books that can be easy to be found in many websites."
My book is also available on Tinder, if you didn't know.
"One of the great books is 1897: Aliens! Vampires! Zombies! by Sean Michael Welch can be found and get in our website. The content of this book is awesome."
You heard it here first. I give great content.
From Review Two:
"This 1897: Aliens! Vampires! Zombies! is suitable for teenager."
Yes, but which teenager? I need specifics. There are demographics that I don't fully understand involved.
"The content of this book is delivered in simple word. However, it still makes the readers get good education from this book."
Okay, okay, I'm just going to say that I kind of like the idea that in some parts of the world it is considered educational. It's both lovely and weird.
"This book has been read by many people."
That's not true in reality. But it is true in marketing. We can all learn a thing or two from L. Ron Hubbard even as batshit crazy as he was.
It's during Review Three that I start feeling as if I'm falling off the boat:
"The readers can improve their memories of the brain."
Can improve... what?
"Each plot in this online book helps the readers to stimulate their brain to remember any things in the content of this book."
...well... I mean, there's many characters to keep track of, so I suppose a case can be made that it does this, as perhaps reading anything does at some level...
"Reading this book also makes the readers can easy to stabilize their heart situation."
Aaaaaaand no. You've lost me. That's not a thing. Or if it is a thing, then no one's made it very well-known. And even if it was a thing, I doubt if anyone would be pointing at 1897 and saying "This book will save your life!" Unless...
Note to self: "Friend" Dr. Oz on Facebook and find out what his endorsement fees are.
If you want to read the whole thing, you can find it here.
In the meantime, here's Dr. Oz for 1897: ALIENS! VAMPIRES! ZOMBIES! which he never agreed to, but then I bought some Green Coffee Bean Extract during a week when I was feeling kind of self-conscious about my appearance, so I figure that makes us even.
Buy your copy of 1897 here because Dr. Oz said so.
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