The Mumbai Indians defeat the Chennai Super Kings to win the Indian 20/20 premiere league. And I'm only pointing this out because Mumbai's nickname is completely appropriate. Smile pretty.

American film producer Harvey Weinstein turns himself into NYC police for charges of rape, a criminal sex act, sexual abuse and sexual conduct. he is somehow able to pay the million dollar bail set for him and has to wear ankle monitor so that he is restricted to movement outside of NYC and... Connecticut?

As the saying goes, rich people get to be the worst people. Oh, is that not a saying? I apologize.

If he looks pretty okay with being arrested, it's because he knows he has a million to spend on bail. Just fyi.

President Trump eases financial regulations and oversight on banks and... seriously? You're doing the thing we've already done but more? We bailed the banks out in 2008! When we had President we actually liked!

I have no follow up. And if I did, it would involve a ridiculous amount of expletives.

National Football League owners introduce a policy in which players must stand for the National Anthem if they're on the field for the pre-game because when it comes to making money and making fans happy, the Constitution isn't really a thing.

President Richard Nixon confesses to his role in Watergate which will be the last time a President confesses to any wrongdoing, even if a 400 page report is released to the public, half of it is blacked out and the parts that weren't still show how much of a Dick you are.

Five abortions clinics are attacked by someone armed with butyric acid in Miami, Florida because life is precious?

President Nicolas Maduro of Venezuela wins a second term in an election marked with boycotts and possible vote rigging and are you excited for America 2020 yet? It's bound to be a barn-burner! Literally. I imagine there will be a lot of arson happening.

American actress Meghan Markle marries Prince Harry and becomes a member of the British Royal Family and that's how the takeover begins...

The US Supreme Court affirms the legitimacy of racial segregation in Plessy v. Ferguson. It will unfortunately not the last time this body will make horrible decisions and maybe lifetime appointments to any government position aren't such a good idea?

The video game Minecraft is released to the public while still in development and somehow it still looks like it.