Gambling is legalized in Las Vegas ensuring that it will become the best and most fun place to ruin your life in. 

The first fatal accident involving a self-driving Uber happens in Tempe, Arizona and that's how A.I. will take over the world.

Serial-bomber and domestic-terrorist Mark Anthony Conditt blows up his fourth target in Austin, Texas. Out of seven. And somehow a lot of us are still not completely freaked out by right-wing terrorism because the offender speaks English and was born in Muuuuracaa.

Senator Kristen Gillibrand announces her presidential bid because ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE thinks they can beat Trump which is how we got into this situation in THE FIRST PLACE.

Asia's second-richest person Li Ka-Shing announces his retirement at age 89. And all I can add is... from what? Rich people are weird.

Toys R Us files for bankruptcy and announces it will close all of its stores. FOA Schwarz vows to fill the gap by producing even more toys that are waaaay too expensive.

The Rolling Stones leave England for France to avoid paying taxes because rich people like money waaaaaaay too much.

Sixteen children and one teacher are shot and killed at Dunblane Primary School in Scotland by Thomas Hamilton who then turns the gun on himself. This results in handguns being banned in UK because it's not America.

American President Franklin Delano Roosevelt conducts his first "Fireside Chat" which to this day would be preferable to Twitter.

"The Black Panther" becomes the fifth Marvel movie to earn $1 billion worldwide. Marvel immediately regrets killing him off during "Avengers: Infinity War."